“Isaiah 57:20 says, ‘The wicked are like the tossing sea; for it cannot rest, and its waters toss up mire and dirt.’ The sea does not need to do anything special to produce mire and dirt; that is the result of natural motions. This is also true of us when we are under the condition of sin. The natural motions of our lives produce mire and dirt. Sin is part of the internal structure of our lives. No special effort is needed to produce it. No wonder we feel trapped.” – Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline, p. 5
Coincidentally, I have been asked to fast today. It is always a struggle for me to fast while at home cooking meals for the kids. If I were out of the house all day, I could distract myself. But I am not. And worse, I have to confront my discomfort head-on – “No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” (1 Cor 9:27) If only I had the fortitude of Paul!
I have been proofreading a text I plan to use for a course on Church History I have been asked to teach in January. I am really excited about it – it is a real opportunity to convert all that stuff I have learned over the years into benefit for others. It is also an opportunity to teach on something I love – history is a subject that never ceases to fascinate me.
In the early chapters of that text I have been confronted by the many stories of the great fathers of the faith – the Tertullians, the Clements, the Polycarps, and the Origens. These great men of God were me of personal discipline, who loved the Lord and willingly sacrificed the stuff that held them back from Christ.
It was in between reading that and glancing at a book I recently rediscovered on my bookshelf, as I was cooking for my children and struggling with my desire for the food I was preparing – note I didn’t say need – I am not in any place where I need food in my sedentary western lifestyle – that I came face to face with a truth that had been peeking out at me intermittently. That truth is I lack discipline. My selfish whims and desires win out much too often. From Facebook games to World of Warcraft – from DVDs to my Google Reader (I have even managed to self-justify – Facebook is a fantastic tool for building and maintaining relationships, but I haven’t been using it for that ; Google Reader is a brilliant way of collecting good information from around the world and aggregating it for convenience but information for information’s sake is merely wasting time) I have been allowing them to occupy precious time – the gift of my creator to me – that could be filled with preparation for a lifetime’s work that we are all too close to embarking upon. How can I treat this time I have been gifted with, with such comtempt?
“Origen’s philosophy, then, was more than a matter of ideas, it was a way of forming character. Here, his example proved to be his most powerful lesson. He stimulated us, says Gregory, “by the acts he performed more than by the theories he taught. “ He urged his students to examine the springs of their conduct, to note the impulses that led them out of confusion into moral order, and to resist the seeds of evil and cultivate the growth of goodness, which was what Origen meant by reason.” – Bruce L. Shelley, Church History in Plain Language, P. 84-85.
Somebody told me once that sin cannot be beaten until you hate it. Until you really really hate it. I wonder if the hate I am feeling for my sin is enough today?
Tags: Bruce L. Shelley, Church History, discipline, Richard J. Foster, spritual disciplines, teaching
