I have had several opportunities to talk with the ladies as people just enjoy coming out of their house and talking in our little community. We will start with just two of us talking and more will come and join us. There were four of us talking along the side of my house the other day as we discussed gadgets (iPad, laptops..etc), family, the neighbourhood and so on. One mentioned how she just moved from a cul-de-sac and is going to miss the community she felt there with BBQs and block parties. I told her that we should have a BBQ in our front yard. We’d just need to set up some table on the lawn or on the driveway, pull the BBQs out front and have some fun. I am looking forward to making that a reality this Summer.

We have been visiting churches in the city and think we may have found the church that we are going to settle in for the year. Shane has already met with the pastor for coffee to introduce himself and we are planning on getting our families together for dinner so we can all get to know each other a bit better.

Things are happening and we are very excited!

We are working hard at getting out house ready to put on the market. We need to have it listed so that it can be sold for a move in May. It seems unbelievable that we will be leaving in just a few months! The other day, Shane started the task of clearing out our garage. He borrowed a trailer from a friend at church and piled it full, and our van full. There is still more that has to go out. I went through our clothes and our children’s clothes and managed to put together 9 garbage bags full of items to donate. I didn’t even get all the laundry caught up or go through out 5 year old’s dresser (which has the most clothes out of anyone in the house). We’ve minimized toys in the house by getting rid of the Happy Meal toys, broken toys and those that they have lost interest in. There is much less to manage and keep clean now.

I love to paint and there is plenty of that still needing to be done. What I love more than painting, is having someone to paint with. I’ve been so happy and thankful to have someone come over the past few days to paint with. We almost have the upstairs hallway finished. I risked my life earlier painting along the edge of the wall over the stairwell but I never finished. I have to rig a board between two ladders to reach the remaining parts of the wall. It will be very nice to have it finished! We are also working on painting all the baseboards and door frames. I don’t think they have been painted in 20 years and they have been scuffed and chipped. It will be very nice to give them a fresh coat.

Our dog will be leaving to visit family in Alberta soon. We will miss her but she will have a blast out there. We haven’t figured out what to do with the cats yet. They will need to find a place to stay while we sell…

It is amazing how people have volunteered to help either financially or by physical labor. If it wasn’t for them, I don’t think we could get this done in the time frame that we need it done in. I am so thankful!

I hope to post pictures as we go along so you can see what we are up to at our house. We’re not going to want to leave it when it is all done.

Just a warning – This post is about responding to an emergency and death is involved. I just want you to be prepared for what you’re about to read. I am not going to go into detail but still.

We had just returned from our Christmas trip to Alberta a few days prior and I returned 2 days before from another trip which took me to the youth’s Snocamp as a camp counselor. I was exhausted but life goes on and Shane was at the church offices for the day and I was home with the kids. It was the same routine as always. The only thing different was that it was also the first day of the newest Masters course I am taking this semester. My courses are online so I have the luxury of sitting on my living room couch with my laptop while I correspond with my classmates.

It was around noon and I had just hit send after finishing my introduction for the course and submitted it to the website when I heard a knock at my door. Our dog was excited that we had a visitor and I had to wrestle her into her kennel and while doing so there was a second knock that was louder than the first. Outside my door was a woman on her cellphone obviously, distraught. When I answered it she quickly informed me that she was the daughter of our elderly neighbor next door and she had just come to check on him and found him collapsed on the hallway floor and she was unable to turn him over after being directed by the 911 operator to do so.

Whenever someone comes to the door, the kids like to come and see who it is and so I turned and saw Dylan, our oldest, standing in our stairwell and Ivery quickly told him he was incharge of his brothers and that I was going next door. While running next door, his daughter told me he was blue and I call to her asking where he was found so I didn’t waste time running to the wrong part of the house. As I swung open the front door I could clearly see him laying on the hallway floor about 15 feet from the front door.

What happened next is still a blur. My nursing training kicking in before my brain did. I remember calling his name as I rushed beside him, while getting down on the floor beside him. I can remember my attempts to turn him over and then realizing that he was already gone and had been gone for several hours. I also remember hearing his daughter as she was desperate for help for her father. I determined that there as nothing I could do and that CPR would be of no use in this situation. I was then faced with the delimma of communicating this information to the 911 operator and calmly asked his daughter to pass me the cellphone so I could speak with the operator directly. As I type this, I still feel the weight of that moment. I knew that me telling that as I was telling the operator that he has been “gone for some time” that the daughter was standing right there listening to every word I was saying and that every time I spoke, I took away whatever hope she had of seeing her dad alive again.

When the 911 operator and I ended the call I felt terrible.  In that moment, his daughter knew it was over. I stood up and walked over to her. I just held her while she cried and cried. I helped her into the living room and had her sit on the couch and continued to comfort her while she began phoning her family. I had never met my neighbor’s family before and here I was sitting with his daughter while she went through one of the most difficult moments of her life – walking in on her father laying dead on the floor.

In a very short amount of time, I could hear the sirens as the ambulances came down the street. I left the daughter on the couch while I went out and flagged down the ambulance to the correct house and then informed the paramedics about the situation before they entered the home. They agreed with me that there was nothing that could have been done and came over to his daughter to inform her that he had been gone for several hours and that the police would have to come to the home as part of a sudden death investigation, even though it was clear it was death by natural causes.

And so began a series of interviews for his daughter as they found out about his medical history and when he was last seen. I quickly went back and forth to my home a couple of times to check on the boys and at one point decided I should probably get some shoes on as my socks were getting very wet from running across the soaking went lawn. The adrenaline had kept me from thinking about myself for a bit. It wasn’t until her brother arrived that I decided it was time for me to leave. I knew my role was over and it was time to let them grieve as a family. I gave her my contact information before I left and made sure she knew we would keep an eye on the house for them as they all live a distance away.

As you can imagine, I have been in a daze from it. I’ve questioned my actions and reactions, even though they were spot on. I have worried about every elderly man I see in the store and wonder if I will have to respond to another emergency. I have beaten myself up over this situation, but for what? I did everything right and when I disect how I did, I did brilliantly. I was thanked by every police officer and paramedic that responded to the scene. I was told that most first responders leave right away when the paramedics arrive but I stayed behind with the daughter and they were impressed with that. I’ve had good days and bad days. I feel like I’m finally on the other side and I’m able to move forward, although my mind does automatically go back to that day whenever I pick up my textbook for my course.

Today, I had an ah ha moment! I had been, up to this point, thinking about what I did in that moment of crisis rather than at the big picture. I was disappointed/frustrated/angry that I wasn’t able to do anything to help my neighbor but what was the lasting impact of my actions that day?

1. My children were able to see me go and help someone. Although they remained at home, they know now that the man next door died and that I had gone over to help.

2. The emergency workers were able to see a Christian respond to an emergency. I didn’t leave until she had family with her. We even talked about her father being a Christian infront of the paramedics and officers. What a great opportunity to share with them and for his daughter to reflect on where her father is now.

3. While going to check on my kids, I ended up having to do a little crowd control with the neighbors. They shared with me their memories of him and requested I pass on their contact information to the family, which I did. I was thankful for the opportunity to speak with our otherwise private neighbors. They will remember I was there for the family and I pray that this will open up more opportunities to talk with them.

4. We were invited to his funeral, which we attended. While there, I reconnected with a pastor I hadn’t seen in 18 years – and he remembered me! We learned more about our neighbor and his family. He was an amazing man of God. I know his family appreciated us coming and helping them celebrate the life of their father. They can see that we continue to care even after the crisis is over.

5. I surprised myself. I can remember that as I ran next door I was telling myself that it is time to use all the CPR training I have done over the years. When I actually got in there and discovered it wasn’t necessary, I was surprised how quickly I came to that conclusion when I don’t work in an area of nursing where you see people after they have passed away. “Somehow” I knew what I was facing and made the right judgment calls. I was also given the calm that I needed in order to be in the right state of mind to calm his daughter and give her the comfort that she needed. I remember talking slowly and calmly the entire time rather than being rushed and excited as a response.

6. I learned that I wasn’t alone in that moment and after. Like I said before, I wrestled with this day for a bit but one thing I know for certain is I’ve been carried this whole time. My world felt very dark since this happened but no matter how heavy or dark everything felt, I always saw a hope and a light. I can’t imagine having to process all of this without Him helping me through.

And so, the big picture for me is seeing how God had this all play out. It was time for my 86 year old neighbor to go home. He led the daughter to my house so a Christian could be in the home with his daughter during this time. He knew the neighbors would come by at the exact moment I would check on the children. I obeyed when I felt prompted to talk to my neighbor’s daughter about her father’s face and watched as her eyes lit up talking about him and his walk. He knew the emergency workers would be listening. There was much more happening than my neighbor dying. It was an opportunity to bless people and show Christ’s love.

Our boys have been running next door to gather the newspaper from the neighbor’s doorstep. What a great way for them to get involved and another way for the neighbors to see us continuing to care as they watch our boys run across the lawn collecting the paper.

Anyways, that’s been my world. It may seem crazy but when you really look at it, God has been in control the whole time.

Riding the backburner is an outreach project at the end of the month – but it needs some loving, so I need to make some space to promote that.

Our community exercise, our “Carnival of Games” is fast approaching.  Next week will be all about prep for that.  We need to make a list of all the “booths” we are making and get status updates on where each of those are at.  At least the location is taken care of.

I wrote my licensure exam last Friday – that was intense!  8 hours, with only an unmarked Bible as reference.  I left a couple blank, but I can make up for those during the oral examination next month.  The district reviews my answers then orally quizzes me on the areas they want to see more strength in.  I’ll need prayer for that!

Another cold virus  has landed, and we’re working hard to not let that immobilize us.

Travelling to the Southwest District Focus Retreat will be an interesting opportunity.  We will hopefully have new business cards for our church plant and prayer cards to begin to raise awareness in the churches of Callifornia and area about what we are hoping to do in Medicine Hat.  We are praying that a church or two will see us as a mission they want to support.

I am teaching a course on church history and also another round on the Gospel of John with a couple of new believers.  These will be important challenges as I get to exercise my education in one area and gain more mastery over leading people through the Gospel.

We are also working on a regular opportunity to preach – perhaps at a senior’s home or even perhaps at the YVR chapel!  That would be an interesting venue.

Cheryl has picked up another course at Athabasca University to finish her Master’s in Nursing.  Only two more to go after this one!

Please continue to pray for us.  We would not be able to manage all these things without your support.  Thanks!

I was driving down the road the other day and thought about how long I have lived in the area and how these roads are all so familiar to me. When we move, not a single road will be familiar. Everything will be foreign to me. I will be very turned around and lost for weeks!!  I’m used to giving directions, not receiving them.

That’s the whole point though isn’t it? Receiving direction rather than giving it. I won’t be in the driver’s seat (not that I have been but I do direct people at times). I will have to rely completely on God and his plan rather than my own agenda. He’ll direct where we’ll live. He’ll be directing us to places to build relationships with people in the community. He will help me find my way around town, or at least give me the courage to ask someone for directions when I get lost. I won’t be giving directions because I will be too busy receiving them. I will have to rely on him as I navigate this new life.

There have been many times when I have been completely overwhelmed by the idea of planting a church in Medicine Hat but every time when I realize that I am trying to think about parts of the church plant that I haven’t received direction on yet, I calm down. There are things I need to take care of now and I need to trust God to reveal what He needs done at the right time. It doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be thinking about them as it is important to be aware of different concerns that might pop up, but there isn’t a need to stress over them. It will be challenging for me as I am the type of person who looks at the big picture and likes to make sure everything is in order so I can check everything off one item at a time. I don’t like only having part of a map revealed and having to wait for other sections to appear as I go along on my journey. I am being stretched and challenged in this area and it is a good thing. It means I am not in control and I’d probably mess something up if I was.

They were born, as Shane announced, on July 26th, 2009. Dayn Sawyer weighed 5 lbs 8 oz while Lyan Jasper weighed 4 lbs 3 oz. I had gone for a routine ultrasound, like I had done every week, to check on the progress of the twins. Lyan was always smaller and so they were monitoring their progress to make sure he didn’t fall behind. During this routine ultrasound, Lyan’s heartrate dropped. I didn’t like what I saw and heard and neither did the doctor doing my ultrasound, however he tried to reassure me by saying that he probably applied to much pressure on the cord. Knowing how much pressure he had applied in the past, that was nothing and I would put more pressure on my stomach by bending over to put on my shoes (as much as a pregnant woman with twins can bend over). After my ultrasound I went for my fetal monitoring appointment, which was also routine. This time, the ultrasound doctor asked that the nurses doing the monitoring go over the results with him before I left. Seemed like a good precaution. It checks on the heart rates of the twins during movement which tells them about the babies’ wellbeing, such as their heartrate will help them figure out if they are getting enough oxygen through moving around. After the appointment, the nurses asked me to wait in the waiting area while they went over the results with the doctor like he had asked. They all came out to see me, the doctor put his hand on my shoulder and informed me that it was time for the twins to come out and that he didn’t want to wait for after the weekend. And so began the process of calling Shane at work and him finding people to watch the boys at home while I remained at the hospital waiting to find out when and where the twins were going to arrive.

The staff talked about delivering in the States or Alberta due to the lack of beds in BC. Everywhere was full and if they had a bed for me, their nurseries were full and so if the twins needed some care after they were born (like Lyan needed), they wouldn’t have a place to treat them. They admitted me at the hospital so I had a place while they waited for a bed and monitored the babies every 6 hours. It was very stressful to be in the room and not know what was going to happen. I was worried about the twins and how they were doing in there while as worrying about the boys back home and how we were going to get people to watch them should we be sent out of province or out of the country for delivery. I didn’t want to spend my whole time worrying and so I tried to make the most of it. I was chatting it up with the nurses when they came in and was friendly with the housekeeping staff who would come to clean the room. While I was there, I might as well make friends and trust that God would take care of all the details surrounding the delivery of the twins.

The next day, one of the nurses came into the room and started talking to us about getting transferred to another hospital. She then transitioned into asking what kind of help we would have back home after the twins were born. It was easy to tell the nursing staff how people at our church have brought us meals, prior to the twins arriving and that if we have a need, we can count on them being there.  Her response caught me a little by surprise when she said, “Ah, I knew there was something different about you two. I could tell when I walked into this room. There was a sense of calm.” Really? Calm was far from how I felt but I wasn’t stressed out like I was before. We (Shane, the nurse and I) got into a conversation about churches and she told us how she is looking for a church to go to after being in a Catholic church for years but didn’t feel it was the place for her. We gave her information about Community of Hope, however, she didn’t live in the city and commuted quite a distance to the hospital. We encouraged her to find a church home and just continued to have good conversations with her whenever she would stop by our room. She was not assigned to my room either which made our interactions even more special.

We were transferred to BC Women’s Hospital which is attached to BC Children’s Hospital later that day and we began the process of getting labor going around 3pm that afternoon. I am not going to go into the whole birth story here. This was the first delivery where it was just Shane and I there but it felt like others were there, probably because I knew people were praying for us. The two nurses that were a part of our labor experience reminded me of two gals from church. I would turn to Shane when the nurses would leave and say “Doesn’t she remind you of…” and he’d agree. They didn’t look anything like them but their mannerisms were the same. And then there were hospital products that had the last name of two families from church as their brand names. These little things gave me a chuckle and helped to remind me that God was taking care of me and my family.

When the twins were born, Dayn and Lyan both had low blood sugars. Dayn’s sugars bounced back immediately while Lyan’s fluctuated for two weeks and he remained in the hospital. Dayn was only in the nursery for a couple of days. It was difficult to come upstairs and listen to all these other babies with their moms and mine were down in the nursery. I had no timeline as to when they would be with me as the staff would say “He [baby] will decide.” I needed more info than that. Again, I made the best of my situation by chatting with nurses, the housekeeping staff and the ladies who would bring my meals. There was one woman from housekeeping who would stand and talk in my doorway for quite a while. I decided to talk to those who were probably overlooked in the hospital. I chatted with the cashier at the cafeteria, the volunteers at the gift shop, the guy transporting the linen from one area of the hospital to the next, the porters who would escort me and Dayn from the ward down to the nursery and back….etc etc etc. I found people doing odd jobs and would try to find something encouraging to say about how awesome of a job they were doing or just comment about the weather or business of the hospital. I found that as I walked through the hallways every day I saw more people I recognized from previous interactions and they all had smiles on their faces when they spotted me.

I wasn’t always happy and spreading joy though. There were days when things were rough for me. I found it challenging to have Dayn upstairs while knowing that Lyan was downstairs having his heels poked every few hours to check his blood sugar. I was torn between staying at the hospital and going home to be with my other boys. Every time a nurse brought up the idea of discharging me from the ward, I cried. I prayed repeatedly throughout the day for Lyan’s blood sugars to stabilize and that we could all go home sooner than later. Then God put in the room next to me a young couple who’s baby had two cardiac arrests immediately following delivery and their baby was down in the ICU nursery (ours were in the intermediate nursery for babies who don’t need that much assistance). I talked with the father and his mother in the hallway, offering what encouragement I could. When I went back to my room, I felt compelled to pray for them. While praying, I realized that I was praying for Lyan all this time when he is in a room with other babies who also need prayer and the ICU nursery was next door and those babies also needed prayer. I said to God that he has heard my prayers about Lyan and I trust Him to answer those prayers in His time but now I was praying for the other babies in the nursery and their families.

I went down the next day to see Lyan and discovered that his blood sugars had stabilized overnight. While sitting beside him in his little incubator I decided to start praying for the nurses in the nursery and the parents in the room. With that, conversations began to happen. Nurses would talk to me about our church plant. A mother in the room told me about how she had left church at a young age, wanted her daughters to go to church but didn’t want them to experience the same hurts she had. I was able to share my testimony with her. While sharing my testimony, the room was uncharacteristically quiet. No babies were crying. No alarms went off on the monitors. Nurses weren’t having conversations while caring for babies. The only voice in the room was mine and I wasn’t whispering.

The nurses and parents got to see me at my best (cheerful and kind) and at my worst (crying my eyes out hearing once again that we weren’t being transferred to a closer hospital). They were able to see that I was human. During one of my bad days, I tried once again to put another family before myself and celebrated as a father was taking his child from the nursery to be with the mother upstairs. We had a very brief conversation as he waited for the nurses to prepare everything. It was one of those interactions where I thought nothing more would come of it. The next day, the father was in the hallway on his way to the cafeteria when he waved to me and as I approached he said, “I have to ask. Are you a Christian?” I told him I was and he replied, “I thought so.” He then went on that it was my attitude and the shirt I wore that day that gave it away. I was wearing our church’s shirts that we had made for our community service week. I didn’t think anyone would have noticed but he did. He went on to say, “Isn’t it great to know that we have God on our side?” This interaction was meaningful to me after being at the hospital for a week and half. I had very little contact with people I knew and felt alone. I felt energized from this point on and was thankful for all the ups and downs because God had a bigger plan. I wouldn’t have been able to interact with the staff like I was had I only been at the hospital for a day or two. I wouldn’t have been able to build the relationships I had with people in the nursery with a short stay. I also would never have been able to share my testimony like I was.

I have continued to stay in touch with the mother at the hospital. We hope to get our kids together for a play date in the future.

Anyways, I will remember this event in my life as the time it was reinforced that people are always watching and your actions are a big testimony to others. I will, hopefully, now see every situation I am in as an opportunity to show God’s love to others.

I hope this has made some sense. I am typing this as fast as I can while babies are sleeping and before I feel like I need sleep as well.

What popped into my head, though, was, “What about Summer Vacation?” I was thinking about my future – moving to Medicine Hat to plant churches, I will be entering “vocational ministry” – in other words, doing God’s work for bread. It remains to be seen how much we will be supported financially and how much I will need to be working at a regular job to make ends meet, but regardless as the lead pastor of a church plant, my responsibility will be to train and equip people to be the church and grow the church. Summer won’t be a season of rest. It can’t be. People need Jesus – that need doesn’t suddenly abate with the long summer days and warm summer nights.

For some reason I found myself wrestling with feelings like if I go through with this I don’t get to take time off anymore. This really struck me emotionally. Then I realized, I am already on the job. Being on mission for God means that my whole life becomes his and my purposes become his purposes. It doesn’t mean I can’t “take a break” or choose to do something that I want to do, to recharge, but to also recognize that what I choose to recharge with 1) had better be honouring to him; and 2) that I hold on to my “me” time with an open hand, recognizing that even through that, God can use me for his purposes.

A good example of this was Cheryl and my own trip to Rwanda in 2006. We originally intended to go to Mexico, but really felt like God wanted us to do something for him with our vacation time so we sought out a short term mission trip instead. It was incredible, and in many ways that one choice to use our vacation for his purposes started us on the path we are on today.

Another example was something that Cheryl and I talked about the other day – using gardening as a mission. I don’t really like to garden, or do lawn maintenance. But you know what happens when I am outside on my lawn? I am meeting people. I am meeting all the dogwalkers, all the exercisers, all my neighbors who are out doing their yardwork. I am building relationships, and getting into people’s lives. I am creating room for God to work and draw people to himself through me. People don’t see me and suddenly drop to their knees, praying to God. But that first hello, that casual conversation, that discussion about the weather are the first steps towards friendship and trust and the place where we can talk about spiritual matters.

Suddenly mowing the lawn takes on a new priority. And suddenly, the summer doesn’t seem so daunting. I can be used of God while fishing, hiking, or touring the Royal Tyrell Museum with my kids. I still get my break. My tireless God will continue to work through me even in rest.

The ultrasounds I have to have every two weeks because the twins are identicals. The risk with identicals is that they share the same placenta and therefore might suddenly decide not to share nutrients. If that is the case, one twin will thrive while the other struggles to grow. Because of this risk, they watch them close to make sure they are growing appropriately. So far so good! They are measuring right on track and are currently only 3 oz apart, although the OB feels they were closer but couldn’t get very good measurements because of how active they are. At 22 weeks, they “weigh in” at 14oz and 1lb 2oz.

While I have been working on all these appointments, we had to prepare for Shane’s family coming to town for his graduation and his sermon. It was a big weekend and it took its toll on me with all the late nights out with family.

I’ve also been working on getting the house ready to put up for sale. We won’t be listing until much later but given that in another month I most likely will not be able to do many home repairs, now is the time. I’ve been painting various rooms around the house and some outdoor painting as well. There is so much to do and so little time. Knowing that by June I won’t be able to do anything and then most likely will not be able to get back to working on it until September/October when the twins finally settle in, I have lost a lot of nice weather opportunity to get things done.

I am still homeschooling the older two boys. Dylan is working on his grade 3 material while I have Lyndan doing grade 1 work when this would be his Kindergarten year. It has been a challenge to keep them motivated and focused this year but I think we have reached an understanding and they are doing well and accomplishing a lot. Aydan is doing some pre-K/K material when he wants to be like his older brothers and Dannan has learned how to walk.

And that, is our family update.

Something I didn’t mention before about the Hat. Didn’t see any Thai food there, but on the way out of town there was a little village called Bow Island. What’s right there on the main drag? A restaurant called “Bow Thai”! Sweet!

Anyway, back on subject. The waiter, Ryan at the Boston Pizza in High River turned out to be one of the most informative… informants we have encountered so far. He kept coming back with more info for us. Once he came back to tell us about the hospital… and for some reason brought up the fact that it includes a psych ward. Two possibilities there – 1) he thought we needed medication; 2) God told him to tell us because Cheryl’s a psychiatric nurse. I am choosing to believe the latter.

Here’s a video update:

We quite like High River, but not sure about the need there.  The real trick about this trip is separating our own emotions from the will of God.  They could be the same, but they might not be.