A church planting blogger and his wife that I follow are off to be assessed.  My prayers go with them.  I know for myself, in some ways I look forward to that step for us, and in other ways I am frightened by it.  What if we are the only ones who think we are called?  What if it isn’t God we’re hearing, but our own vanity?

I mentioned this worry the other day to my mentor and pastor, Philip.  He told me assessments aren’t really there to make you question your calling, but more to give you focus on knowing yourself and your giftings, and also your weak points so that you can build a team around you who will make up for anything you lack.  Or, failing that, at least give you an opportunity to work on those weaknesses, to improve.

That helped some.

What also helped is just encountering, randomly, story after story about people who thought they were good at something, but were told they stink, but then didn’t listen and became roaring successes.  I’ve encountered several of these - most recently Sigourney Weaver was told in college she was a crummy actress.  Neil Cole, author of Organic Church, in his book he mentioned that he was told her didn’t have the skills to be a church planter.  I think his results speak for themselves (Read the book).

So, there’s God, bringing these things to me when I need them.  God is still God.  Thanks, Jeremiah, for the CD out at iGo (I took you up on your offer to take one of those ep’s).  I’ve got your rendition of “Who Can Compare” on my iPod.  My heart sings this morning:

If you’re not the one we praise, who will we adore?

For God there is none like you, you alone are LORD!

It’s not a review yet… I’m not finished reading it yet.

But I will say this: This book is changing the way I think.  That is rare.

I find it’s influencing everything I think about church - why we do what we do, why there are problems, what the solution is, what a Christian should look like.  It is changing me not so much away from what I thought before, but changing me by bringing clarity to thoughts that were already flowing in the came direction.  It is digging a channel for my thoughts that were already flowing across the land in that direction.

Quote:

We have developed an entire generation of dependent consumers waiting for their leaders to spoonfeed them the Bible verse of the week, rather than an army of Kingdom agents ready to transform our culture by the power of the Gospel. (p. 154)

I was saying to a friend of mine yesterday, the reason we have programs at our church is because the people of our church are not really mature followers of Christ.  If we were, we would be out doing the things our programs accomplish as part of the very fabric of our lives, reflecting the aims and the mission of Jesus here on earth.  We would be feeding the poor, teaching the Word, making disciples, meeting for fellowship with one another - all without direction because Jesus is our King.

I know this is a perfect world scenario, and we are dealing with fallen humanity with hurts that go deep.  Serious help may be needed for some people to get them moving forward in the right direction.  Also, people generally have an expectation about what church looks like, so for their comfort, we do need to give the appearance of something familiar so as not to be a “stumbling block”.  But in my opinion we should be working towards weaning the people of our church off the “program mentality”.  That in the end, the only program we offer would be that entry point that “looks like church” to give new people something to grasp onto, then work on discipling them into a place where they are followers of Christ, not of Paul, or Apollos, or Warren or Driscoll.

Between Jim Brown and Mark Cahill at iGo, and now me reading Organic Church by Neil Cole I am really being gutted emotionally.  I am finding myself so convicted that I am not bearing fruit in terms of a harvest of souls.  Well, God, I hope you’re happy, you’ve got me on my knees begging for fruit.  I just want to be the good soil so badly.

So last night a song popped into my head, and all I could remember was “Praise the Lord… o my soul… praise the Lord!”  Then “As far as the east is from the west… that’s how far he has removed our transgressions from us!”  But for the life of me I couldn’t remember the song’s title.

Then I get up this morning and read the book of Jonah.  What’s right there in front of me?  Jonah complaining about God’s personality.  “I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.” (Jonah 3:2b)

Don’t you just hate people who abound in love and compassion?  How much more annoying is it when it is your God?  O for a God of Justice!

Oh, wait.  I’m me.  Little old sinful me who doesn’t deserve the dust from the heel of God.  Yeah God whose love has purchased me from facing his justice!

By the way, the song is called “The Lord is Gracious and Compassionate”.

The Lord Is Gracious and Compassionate

(Graham Ord)

The Lord is gracious and compassionate
Slow to anger and rich in love
The Lord is gracious and compassionate
Slow to anger and rich in love

Praise the Lord, oh my soul
Praise the Lord
Praise the Lord, oh my soul
Praise the Lord

And the Lord is good to all
He has compassion in all that He has made
As far as the east is from the west
That’s how far He has removed our transgressions from us
(repeat)

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