With one of my favourite Christian bloggers putting out a call for confessions, I decided to get inspired.  Heh.  No, inspiration just happened. Confessions!

• I am feeling more nervous, more unprepared, and more at wit’s end with this pregnancy than I have ever been with any of my other children.  (Duh, you’re having twins!)
• I am going through a slump at work, and I think it’s partly because I am distracted by the fact that I can’t conclude a deal on a van for the family.
• My wife is very insightful.  She pointed out to me that the reason I am so focused on vans is because it is the only thing I feel I have any control over right now.  I can’t control the pregnancy, I can’t control the quality of sales opportunity at work, I can’t control my family’s health (largely).  Problem is, I can’t control finding a van either – it is the dealer, the salesperson, the buyer for my car who are in the driver’s seat and I am just waiting… waiting… waiting…
• Feeling Romans 7:19 right now with respect to my kids and my computer.  Guess which one I think is the sin.
• Also feeling Romans 7:19 right now with respect to studying for licensure and facebook.  Guess which one I think is sin.
• I really want to start using my knowledge of the internet to warn people away from Maple Ridge Chrysler, because of the way they have treated us.  I can’t decide if it is revenge or public service that is motivating me though.

It is amazing how one little picture can change just about everything.

Since that ultrasound image showing our twins came home on Thursday, we’ve been rethinking all kinds of things.  Basic things, like how the house operates.  We’re definitely getting even more serious about teaching the boys that they have responsibilities as part of the family that must be done, because we can’t do everything for them.

Like who gets which bedrooms.   We do have a spacious house which we are grateful for.  Some have asked us if we will need a bigger one – not before we move to Alberta.  The current computer room will most likely become Dylan’s room, and Dannan will move into Dylan’s old room, with the twins going into Dannan’s room.  The desktop PC (which is getting used less and less) will be moved over the garage into the guest room/study/storage room.

Like what cars we drive.  The minivan, a really good vehicle which has served us well, will have to go, to be replaced by either a Chevy Express or a Ford E-150 passenger van.  Both feature at least 12 seats (though we will only need 8).  To minimize any new debt, I have suggested we trade in my new Caliber for the big van, then sell the minivan privately and use the proceeds from that to buy me a used, instead of new runabout.

Like when we leave for our city tour of prospective church planting destinations.  We were originally thinking June but now, Cheryl will be 7-8 months in June, and probably at least as big as full term.  We have to go sooner.  At this time I am thinking March, but we haven’t decided for sure yet.

Like how we school our kids.  Cheryl loves homeschooling, and I certainly prefer it to public school, but with 3 infants in the house, and me working full time, I am concerned that Cheryl will be overwhelmed.  A season in school may be where we have to go with the older boys.

It sure is an exciting time.  I don’t regret what God has gifted us, but it is sure taking some out-of-the-box thinking.  If this is God’s way of training us for flexibility and problem-solving, then we will come out of this once more even more conformed into the shape he needs us to use us.  And that’s exciting.

First, thoughts on the venue.  In a bit of bad planning, they set the conference for the Thanksgiving Weekend here in Canada, so the sparse attendance I would say could largely be accounted for on that basis.  Only 150 or so showed up, and even that may have been an overestimation.  Still, if he was disappointed, Dr. Townsend didn’t show it.  He was a gentleman and a good teacher.

I was particularly impressed with how he showed his support for enterprises like World Vision.  For once, the promotional video wasn’t full of emaciated infants, trying to guilt you into giving them money, but it was moving considering his suggestion that you not only support them, but in so doing teach your children to think of others and how they can help.  His recommendation was to have each of your children support their own child and write to them.

Now onto the contents of the seminar.  The material covered paralleled his two books, “Raising Great Kids” and “Boundaries with Kids”.  The first half focused on what we as parents need to keep in mind in terms of what we need to communicate to our children.  This was followed by the larger picture of the six things that children need to learn.  The second half took one of these, the concept of boundaries, and dealt with it in depth as it seems by his experience, to be the area where most families have difficulties.

It was entertaining listening to him comment on the politically correct environment we are in.   His position on raising a child appear to be well rooted in Scripture – he used it appropriately all day.  Occasionally he would suggest consequences like missing dessert at a mealtime, or in the case of a child who throws food, taking away the food for a few minutes at a time until the child understands that they will not get to throw the food if they want to eat.  He felt he had to clarify that he was not advocating starving children.

Along the same lines, he dealt head-on with the concept of physical discipline.  He suggested it did not have a place after children reach a certain age where they become nonresponsive to it – usally 5 or 6 years old.  Before that, it should always be considered a last resort, which is sound advice.

He also dealt directly with what has become the common approach to parents who have no time to give to their children – bribing them into behaving, which amounts to rewarding bad behaviour.  He also tackled the educational cultural icon of “self-esteem” saying that this philosophy in the school systems has led to children failing at things but “feeling good about it”.  He stated clearly this is not a learning environment and is creating children who grow up to be failed adults.

All in all, I was impressed, and it gave me much food for thought.  I got a little sleepy in the early going, but made it through.  It was very nice actually, just having a day with my wife.  We got to go out for lunch together and that was just lovely.  Hopefully we get a few more opportunities like this.

So we’ve been offered a couple of passes to this parenting conference, held tomorrow all day.  It’s a big deal apparently, hosted by Dr. John Townsend who also authored a couple of books on the subject.  The fella who gave us the tickets also graciously arranged to have our pack of ruffians watched whilst we attend.

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I think any given parenting conference should be preceded with a meet-and-greet with the children of the “expert”.  To see if he or she really knows what they are talking about.

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No, I am sure it is going to be great.  I’ll post a review tomorrow night.

Oh Lord, sustain my children’s hunger for your Word.  Don’t let my own laziness or selfishness keep them from it.  I am so proud each and every night they beg me to read them a story from the Bible.  How easily that feeling is overwhelmed by the urgent, or by fatigue, or by petty distractions.  Thank you for each of their souls, and use them for great things, Lord.

Amen.